Just let someone say the wrong word and you’re on your horse. But what lies behind your laziness and how do you get rid of it? You might have been that little boy who was easily jerky or tears when your friends or brother teased you. Children just know what buttons to print. The grown-ups would say you should not disturb them, but it was difficult.
Unfortunately, age and experience will not necessarily help you get a thicker skin. You might expect everyone to be against you. When someone then makes the slightest negative comment, you will either pick the lane or jump on your horse.
A flabby man who tends to flee will suddenly withdraw from a conversation. And one who tends to fight will act aggressively. If you can admit that you are lazy and that it hurts you and the people around you, this is already a good start.
Find out Why You Overreact
“Body rheumatism is a symptom of other possible problems,” believes a relationship counselor. “It can come out if you are uncertain about who you are and what you are doing.” You unconsciously feel that other women are better or have better lives.
It can also be a defense mechanism. “If you walk with emotional luggage over something and somebody raises the subject innocently, it wakes up all the old pain and overreacts you.”
People who are dissatisfied and frustrated with their lives can also be excessively sensitive. Because of persistent frustration in your resistance, you will lose your temper over trivialities sooner.
Of course we all want to be right, but it’s not always possible. You have to accept that others also have the right to an opinion. If you only know why you are acting like that, you can make a plan to change.
Control Your Emotions Before They Control You
You can’t control what other people say, but you can decide what to do with it. Before responding in the extreme to something someone said, ask yourself these questions: How does the person who says it feel? How does she want me to feel? How do I really feel?
The irony is that most people do not realize they hurt you. Keeping on breeding because your kids didn’t get an invitation to the neighbor’s party will help nothing. You will only regret yourself and make everyone around you unhappy.
Stand back a bit and think for a moment before you react – it gives you more control over your feelings. Just think how much less you’ll apologize for all the thoughtless things you’ve got rid of!
Change the Pattern and Everyone Is Happy!
You may have built a reputation as a “drama queen” or “the touchy one”. At work no one dares to give you more advice and at home everyone walks on eggs around you.
People will withdraw from you because you also make them feel uncomfortable. So start a vicious cycle, because you feel in turn: “See, I knew they didn’t like me!”
You’ll have to find new ways to act against people. Knowing that you become emotional when your ideas are shot down, say, “I see your point, but don’t you think …” Now you can put your point of view logically and calmly. Practice this new pattern of behavior until it becomes second nature later.
Remember, your lameness may have started as a kind of self-protection or defense mechanism. But eventually this behavior that had to protect you just made you even worse. Be good to yourself and don’t allow it!
